That's All

Jan. 1st, 2017 09:57 pm
timehasa_way: (J2)
[personal profile] timehasa_way
First fic post from DW, and I'm realizing there may come a time when I have to fix all of the links in the table to switch them to the DW ones...

Title: That's All
Fandom: RPS
Characters/Pairings: Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki
Prompt: 053. Earth.
[livejournal.com profile] fanfic100 table: here
Word Count: 676
Rating: G
Warnings: A bit angsty, general discussion of death/dying
Summary: Jared doesn't want Jensen to die in his lifetime. Jensen is not indestructible. Jared is not fluffy. (Also, I remember seeing this in a con video (gold panel), but don't remember which. If anybody knows and can link me, I'd appreciate it! :))

They’re at a convention when they somehow get to talking about death and dying. It’s not all that surprising, given the show and their characters. But this time, they get pulled into talking about themselves, rather than Sam and Dean. Somehow, they end up talking about how they would like to go out, personally. Of course, the default answer is peacefully, in their sleep; what every human generally wants. Jensen gives that answer for his own death, and he doesn’t miss the addendum to his death that Jared throws in just before choosing the next question from the crowd:

“And not within my lifetime.”

The moment is over in a flash, and the convention continues with all of the usual laughs and warm feelings, but Jensen doesn’t forget those words. He sits with them, through the convention and on the plane. He lets them filter through his own thoughts as they get back home and start to settle in, Jared flopped on the couch with his phone. Jared instinctively moves his legs to allow for space when Jensen wanders over; doesn’t even look up. Once Jensen settles onto the couch, Jared’s legs stretch back out over him. It’s a position they often find themselves in after long days.

Jensen settles his hands on Jared’s legs. “Are you planning on going first?”

Jared looks up quizzically, then takes in Jensen’s expression and drops his phone down on his chest, giving his full attention. “Sorry, did I miss something?”

“Earlier,” Jensen clarifies, taking a breath. It’s not as if it’s an easy subject to talk about. “We were talking about how we would prefer to die. You said you didn’t want me to go in your lifetime.”

“I don’t,” Jared says, and it’s an automatic answer. Jensen realizes that Jared probably didn’t even think about those words on stage before he said them; they were just a reflex. “Of course I don’t.”

“Yeah, but…” Jensen pauses. It feels a little silly now, with the way Jared responded. Of course nobody wants to be the one to watch their significant other die. But he still feels like there’s more to this. “It’s not like I would just be okay, you know? If you went first.”

There’s a moment of silence where Jared lowers his eyes, then brings them back up to meet Jensen’s. “I know that.”

“Sometimes I...I feel like there’s this picture being painted of us, where you’re somehow weaker than I am, and I’m supposed to be…” Jared’s legs move as he sits up next to Jensen, moving his body closer, the phone dropping into his lap. Jensen takes another moment to breathe. “I’m not indestructible, you know. And you’re not just some big, fluffy house of cards, waiting to collapse.”

Jared reaches for Jensen’s hand, twining their fingers together. “I don’t think cards can be fluffy, Jensen.” Jensen rolls his eyes and elbows him, and Jared doesn’t laugh, but moves closer, their bodies warm side by side. “Sorry, I get what you mean. I do. I’m not making a joke out of it.”

“Of course you’re not,” Jensen murmurs. “That’s usually my job. I’m usually the one trying to lighten the mood.”

Jared leans in and nudges him with his shoulder. “But you were just talking about how we’re not one-dimensional, right?” He sighs and squeezes Jensen’s hand in his own. “Thank you.” He doesn’t have to say for what. Jensen knows.

“You’re stronger than you get credit for,” he says, squeezing back and looking into Jared’s eyes. “Than you give yourself credit for.”

Jared looks down again, a smile playing on his lips. He kisses Jensen’s forehead. “And you,” he pulls Jensen into his arms, “are emotional.”

Jensen sighs and closes his eyes. “Lucky me.” Jared chuckles against him, and Jensen cracks a smile, feeling a bit better now. He reaches up and pats Jared’s arm. “We’ll be okay. Both of us.”

“Yeah, we will,” Jared agrees. “You’re just my favorite person on Earth, that’s all.”
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