Feed Your Head, Part 1

[timehasa_way]

Feed Your Head, Part 1

Jensen squeezed Danneel’s hand in his own, smiling at her as she walked beside him. It was hard to contain his excitement as they walked together in Stanley Park, the sun out for once in Vancouver. It was fitting in that moment. The feeling kept coming in waves, subsiding for a while and then building up so fast, he almost couldn’t hold it in. He knew how well she could read him, and grinned widely when she looked up at him and laughed, shaking her head.

“Just like a little boy, trying to keep a secret,” Danneel cooed teasingly, bumping him with her hip as they walked. She tossed her head a little to clear a few stray strands of hair from her vision and narrowed her eyes at him. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you.”

Jensen chuckled, bumping her back. “You think it’ll be a little boy?” he asked excitedly, trying to keep his voice down as well as he could. There were people around, but not many at this hour of the morning in Vancouver. Jensen teetered between wanting to shout the news to everyone and wanting to protect his family, always siding with the latter in the end. “Maybe a girl.”

Danneel snorted at him and rolled her eyes, and he laughed, knowing there was no possible way of knowing yet. “Well, that’s the general idea, right? 50/50?”

“I’d like a girl,” Jensen said, without really thinking about it. Then he backtracked, stuttering, much to Danneel’s amusement. “I-I mean, I’d be happy with either. But I’ve got three nephews. Four, if you count Thomas. It’d be kinda nice to have a little girl.”

“My God, she would be spoiled.”

Jensen stopped and turned to face his wife, Danneel stopping with him. “You think?” he asked, feigning concern as he looked into her eyes.

Danneel thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, I think so. But it would be nice. You, with our little princess.” She began walking again, Jensen’s hand still in hers. “Besides, I obviously know what you’re like with me, and I’ve seen and heard enough to know how you’ve been as a big brother to Mackenzie.” She gave his hand a squeeze and smiled. “I think you’d be perfect with a daughter.”

Jensen slowed to a stop and turned Danneel to face him again. “Have I mentioned how much I love you?”

“Hey! Fancy seein’ you here!”

Jensen would’ve frowned at the intrusion, but he knew that voice all too well. He gave an exaggerated roll of his eyes and turned towards Jared, running towards them on the path. “Oh, great, it’s you.”

“Love you, too, man,” Jared answered without missing a beat. He stopped in front of them, draining half a bottle of water and removing the earbuds from his ears. He reached to his hip to switch his music off and took a moment to catch his breath. “How are you two this fine morning?”

“Perfect,” Danneel answered, tightening her grip on Jensen’s hand in a warning. Jensen tried not to smirk. He knew she’d told him to wait three months, but he honestly wasn’t sure if he could last that long. “How’s the family?”

“Perfect,” Jared repeated, smiling and wiping sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. “Sorry, I’d hug you, but…”

“Yeah, no thanks,” Jensen said, eyeing Jared’s sweaty form and then laughing with him. “You should really carry a few dozen towels with you.”

Jared’s response was lost as Jensen was suddenly pushed from behind, nearly falling over with the shock of it. He heard Danneel’s frightened gasp before he could right himself, and it struck fear into his heart before he even saw her being pulled away from him by a strange man in a long black coat and a tall black hat.

“HEY!”

Jared’s shout sounded at the same time as Jensen’s, and they were both running after the man and Danneel, who was trying to stop herself, trying to look back, but she couldn’t do much without stumbling and falling, helpless but to try and keep pace with the man stealing her away. Jensen’s heart was pounding in his ears, and he couldn’t even tell if he was breathing for how fast he was running, his thoughts racing as she was pulled further away from him. He had to get her back, and he cursed how fast the man was, how he’d been blind to the attack in the first place. His legs and chest burned with the effort, Jared just behind him, though he was barely aware of anything but Danneel moving further and further away from him.

They were off the park’s path now, among the trees, and Jensen hadn’t even processed the man throwing his hat to the ground until it began spinning violently, opening a massive hold in the ground that the man leapt into, pulling Danneel with him. She called Jensen’s name, her eyes meeting his just before she dropped out of sight.

****

Jared came to a screeching halt before the opening, the rim of it still that of the hat, spinning. “What the fuck?!” He only had time to breathe the sentiment before Jensen was jumping into the hole in front of him. Jared didn’t question it, didn’t think, just took the leap and followed his best friend into whatever this thing was, the hole closing above his head.

Danneel. He had to help Jensen get Danneel back. He tried to keep his mind from wandering to whatever the fuck was happening around them. They were standing in a large round room, surrounded by a myriad of doors. Jared spun around quickly, Jensen beside him, scouring the dimly-lit space.

“There!” Jared exclaimed, grabbing Jensen and pulling him towards the large glass door to his right. He’d turned to it just in time to see the strange man’s coattails slip through it, through the glass, and he once again forced himself to stop thinking, keeping hold of Jensen’s elbow as they both charged through the glass.

It was a cool, damp feeling, but more like a breeze than a mist. Jared had to shield his eyes when they reached the other side, mimicking Jensen’s pained grunt. It was too bright, too colorful here, wherever here was. It took time for their eyes to adjust, and Jared knew time was something they couldn’t waste with Danneel being led away by a stranger. He lowered his arm and stood gaping at the land in front of him.

It was fantastic, or fantastical, everything so vivid it was almost too clear, like an intense dream. They were standing on a spotted clay path, bright green stalks of grass too high for either of them to see over, except for where it sloped downward in the distance, revealing hills upon hills of it, the sky a combination of bright blues and purples, clouds like fluffy, cartoon versions of themselves. It was striking, yet there wasn’t much to see here, aside from some oversized mushrooms some distance ahead, a shock of red and yellow.

“No.” Jared was shocked out of his stupor by Jensen’s broken murmur. He turned to Jensen, feeling a pang in his own heart at the sight of Jensen’s distraught expression. “My wife,” Jensen said, fighting for breath, emotion twisting his features. “He took my wife.”

“It’s okay,” Jared said, reaching up to squeeze Jensen’s shoulder. It was the last thing he thought he’d say. He knew how hopeless this seemed, staring out at an expanse of a strange world they didn’t know, Danneel already vanished somewhere inside of it. He was on the edge of emotion and breakdown himself, his brain trying to catch up and make sense of all of this. But if they were going to manage to save Danneel and get out of this, they needed to keep each other grounded. He needed to keep Jensen grounded. Jared knew the state he’d be in if it were Gen they were trying to rescue. “Come on, we can do this. Let’s just keep on the path, look for clues, someone to help us, anything. Okay?”

For a moment, Jensen didn’t respond, and Jared felt his pulse speed up, felt like he’d lose his mind if Jensen didn’t snap out of it and look at him. It was scarier when Jensen did slowly turn to him and their eyes met, Jensen’s nothing but wide, green pools of fear and heartbreak. This situation, this place, was almost crippling. And then something in Jensen managed to grab hold inside of him, a slight sense of the resolve and familiarity that Jared needed to see settling into his expression. Jared sighed in relief, breath shaky, and Jensen nodded.

“Okay.” Jensen cleared his throat, firming his voice up to its usual tone. “Okay, let’s do this.”

Jared could tell that Jensen was still fragile, still trying to find his mental footing, but it was a start. They walked, focusing on each step, heads up and eyes searching, and Jensen was the first to spot the smoke lifting above the mushrooms as they approached them.

“Jay,” he murmured, nodding towards the gray rings floating up into the tie-dyed sky.

Before Jared could say anything in response, a series of legs skittered around the edge of the topmost mushroom, and then a head loomed over them, blocking some of the unnatural brightness emanating from the sunless sky. Jared gasped, gripping Jensen’s elbow again and forcing them both to take a step back. The face in front of them seemed to be changing color as they stared into the smoky glasses that covered the eyes, a disapproving frown cast in their direction. As the head lifted, they saw the creature’s body, all segments and legs, and Jared felt a weakness in his knees when he realized that it was a Caterpillar…with a hookah.

The vase of the hookah was resting on one of the lower, smaller mushrooms, the Caterpillar holding the mouthpiece in his closest gloved hand. Jared stared as the Caterpillar took a drag, feeling as if his mind was about to collapse. He was familiar with fairytales, stories, everything that was not supposed to be real. And yet, here he was, the Caterpillar looming over them again, face turning more towards him, lips opening to blow out rings of smoke.

“Who are you?” the Caterpillar asked, and Jared coughed as he inhaled the tinged smoke, suddenly woozy, Jensen’s hands reaching out to steady him.

“Jared?!” Jensen’s tone was shaky and panicked again, and Jared righted himself just in time for Jensen to start going off the deep end, charging the stand of mushrooms. “We’re here for my wife. Some asshole took her from me, and we need to know where he is. You’re sitting right here, you would’ve seen him only a few minutes before we got here.”

The Caterpillar sneered at Jensen and haughtily turned his head away. “I don’t care for your tone.”

Jensen was up on top of the smaller mushroom and throwing the hookah over before Jared could even blink. “TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!” He was enraged, face almost red enough to match this colorful world, his violent tone more Dean than Jensen. Not a second later, Jared heard the air rush from Jensen’s body as the Caterpillar moved surprisingly quickly, gripping Jensen with its various hands and lifting him, squeezing.

“You have some nerve.” Jensen gasped and struggled, and the Caterpillar’s grip only tightened. “This isn’t your world.”

Jared’s eyes widened as he watched Jensen jerk with pain, a strangled cry breaking through Jensen’s restricted airway. The haze of the smoke was almost completely gone, and Jared looked around for something, anything he could use to save his friend. His eyes settled on the hookah, and he stumbled and dove for it, grabbing it and turning to the Caterpillar, whose tail had tumbled over the side of the mushroom. Jared leapt up onto the smallest mushroom, just under the Caterpillar’s tail, under the opening he could just make out, and shoved the mouthpiece up without a second thought.

The Caterpillar let out an ear-piercing shriek, its body convulsing as it let Jensen go. Jared jumped back down just in time to break Jensen’s fall. The caterpillar was still wailing and writhing in pain, Jensen still gasping for breath, and Jared fisted his hands in Jensen’s shirt and pulled him up on his feet. “Come on, we gotta go!”

Jared dragged Jensen along with him, around a bend and further down the road, finally stopping and collapsing to the ground with Jensen when he was sure they were far enough away from the Caterpillar. They sat in silence for a few moments, catching their breath, Jensen’s taking longer to even out.

“So,” Jared started, staring at his hands. At least he hadn’t gotten messy. “I’m pretty sure we’re in fucking Wonderland.”

Jensen didn’t say anything for a long time, and Jared glanced at him, concerned by the pain he could still see in Jensen’s expression. “Jared?” he asked finally, his voice hoarse.

“Yeah?”

“Did you just shove a hookah up a Caterpillar’s ass?”

“Yeah.”

Jensen wrapped an arm around his ribs and leaned into Jared. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

It shouldn’t have been funny. Nothing should have been. Jared was more afraid than he could ever put into words, and he knew Jensen was feeling even worse, with his soul mate being taken from him. But a scoff turned to a chuckle, and before Jared knew it, they were laughing harder than he thought possible, until Jensen grunted in pain, doubling over.

“Fuck.”

“You okay?” Jared asked, placing his hand on Jensen’s back.

Jensen straightened up with some effort, grimacing. “Fucking Caterpillar almost crushed me.”

“Yeah, well, now he’s blowin’ smoke out his ass,” Jared said, and Jensen snorted. “Can you get up?” he asked, getting to his feet and offering Jensen a hand. He could see marks on Jensen’s body, one around Jensen’s neck, the bright red an indicator of just how tight the Caterpillar’s grip had been.

Jensen took a deep breath and nodded, taking Jared’s hand and pulling himself up. “Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

****

Jensen closed his eyes and took another deep breath, trying to ignore the pain and steadying himself on Jared’s form. He paused then, opening his eyes and looking at Jared, who tilted his head in confusion.

“What?”

“You followed me,” Jensen said simply, staring at Jared in disbelief.

Jared looked even more confused. “What?”

“Through the…the hat,” Jensen clarified, letting go of Jared and standing on his own. “I mean, you were right behind me the whole way.” He suddenly felt deep sorrow, a heavy weight on his shoulders. “I don’t even know how this is possible, or if we’ll ever get out, but I had to get to Danneel, and you just…followed me.”

Jared stared back at him, brow furrowed. “Of course I did. You think I’d just stand back and watch?”

Jensen shook his head. “No, no, I’m just…” He sighed. It scared him. Nothing scared him more than the possibility of losing Danneel, of losing his family. But he also considered Jared his family, and though they’d always treated each other as equals, he couldn’t deny that part of him still felt responsible for Jared, like he would for a little brother. He didn’t think he could bear leading his little brother into a trap like this one, if they weren’t able to fight through this and get back home; especially when Jared had his own wife and child to think about. But he swallowed all of that for the moment and focused on the part of this that awed him. “I’m grateful,” he said, as sincere as he’d ever be. “I’m lucky, just that you would do that. Then keep me grounded and save my life.” He gripped Jared’s shoulder and looked him in the eye. “Thank you.”

Jared smiled a little, but humbly shook his head. “You’d do the same for me. And for Gen.” Jensen knew the certainty in Jared’s eyes was more to help him along than anything, but he still wished he could feel as sure as Jared seemed in that moment. “We’re gonna get Danneel back. I promise.”

Jensen hugged Jared, tight, willing himself to keep sane and not get them into another mess like the one with the Caterpillar. He wouldn’t save anybody that way. “Yeah, we will.” He stepped back and thought for a moment, then suddenly had to say it, so he wouldn’t have to handle the fear of losing his family alone. “Jared, she’s pregnant.” His voice shook a little when he said it, and Jared’s eyes widened.

“Jensen…that…that’s great!” Jared smiled, trying to be excited for them, but it was dampened by their situation. “Come on. Let’s go find your family.”

****

Danneel stumbled and dropped to the ground when they finally stopped running, trying desperately to catch her breath. She hadn’t had time to process any of this, and she was still seeing spots in front of her eyes from so suddenly being exposed to the dazzling brightness of…wherever they were. Her arm curled protectively around her belly.

“Where are we?” she breathed, unable to see much now from where she sat in the midst of the tall grass. She thought maybe it was better that way, because seeing more might make her feel even more lost and on the brink of insanity.

“Wonderland,” the man with her replied, resting beside her. Danneel almost laughed, almost told him he was crazy, but she had no other explanation for the world around them. She thought about making an escape, about getting up and bolting, now that he’d let go of her. But the run here had already made her tired, and she had no way of knowing what sorts of things she would run into here. She didn’t even know the way out, or if Jensen had followed her. She didn’t know if anybody from back home would be able to find her.

“Why?” It was one word, a question easily asked; something to keep the conversation going so that Danneel wouldn’t panic too much. Thoughts kept racing through her mind, trying to steal her focus, the baby first and foremost. She needed a distraction.

“Because the Queen needs your help,” the man said. Then he grinned the grin of a man who had already lost all mental stability. “You can call me Jefferson.”

“Okay.” Danneel took a deep breath and eyed the man. There was something about him that was almost tragic; something that suggested that he would be harmless and friendly in a different situation, but that this was his only choice, his only life. She wouldn’t let herself sympathize, however. The current situation was all that mattered, and in it, he was not her friend. “Why would she need my help? I’ve never even been to Wonderland.”

Jefferson stood and extended his hand to her. Danneel took it and stood, doing her best to remain steady on her feet. “Neither has anybody else I’ve brought here. You see…” he paused, clearly waiting for her to give him her name, which she reluctantly did, “Danneel, there are many more worlds than the one you’re from. More than someone from your world can probably imagine.” He smiled a rather charming smile, though the madness in his blue eyes detracted from it, brown hair messy from both the hat that he’d been wearing and the force of jumping into it and running through Wonderland. “People who don’t believe in magic have trouble with that sort of thing.”

Danneel thought about the hat again, took in Jefferson’s disheveled state, and couldn’t help but ask, “Are you the Mad Hatter?”

Jefferson’s smile flickered as his eyes darkened, and then it went too wide, a toothy smile that was much less innocent. “The name is Jefferson, as I’ve told you,” he said, taking her hand and beginning to walk.

“S-Sorry,” Danneel stuttered, moving to keep up, the grass noisily scraping her jeans and crunching beneath her sneakers. “What does the Queen need me for?” she asked, directing Jefferson back to the matter at hand.

“The Queen,” Jefferson said, “Is no longer content with being just the Queen of Wonderland. She’d rather be the Queen of all the worlds.”

Jefferson’s pace slowed a bit, and Danneel fell into step beside him, her hand still tightly wound in his. “How is she going to do that?”

“She needs hearts,” Jefferson answered, and Danneel thought that hers might’ve stopped in her chest. “She needs at least one heart from every world to gain power and complete a spell that will make her an unstoppable force against any who may oppose her. She’ll break down the barriers between the worlds and rule over them all as one.”

Danneel stumbled, and Jefferson roughly pulled her upright. “Wait,” Danneel gasped, but Jefferson kept them moving. “Are you saying she needs my heart?”

“The hearts she needs are those of strong, beautiful women who live in the public eye, much like herself,” Jefferson explained, gaze locked straight ahead as they returned to the road and started down it. “Any woman fitting that description would do. I just found you first. And you’re the last one I need,” he said, lengthening his stride. “A woman from your world was the last piece of the puzzle. Once the puzzle is complete, she might even give me my heart back.”

There were too many questions to ask, all coming too fast. “What if I told you that I had a child?” Danneel asked, trying desperately for some sympathy, a way out. “Would that change anything?”

“Nothing,” Jefferson answered immediately. “Lots of women have children, including some of those I’ve already taken from other worlds. That doesn’t make you special.” Still, he paused. “Do you?”

Danneel hesitated, not sure if it would make things better or worse to tell Jefferson the truth. “Not yet,” she said finally, taking the only shot she felt she could.

Jefferson looked at her and raised an eyebrow. “Pregnant?” Danneel nodded, and Jefferson stood in silence before dragging her on again. “Then you’re two hearts for the price of one. The Queen will be more than satisfied.”

****

“God, does this road ever end?” Jensen asked, and Jared couldn’t help but feel the same way. They’d been walking for hours with little to no change in the landscape, though he did see a tree up ahead.

“It has to eventually, right?” he said, legs moving out of habit now. He knew he was getting tired, but he didn’t want to give up just yet, for Jensen’s sake.

“I don’t know,” Jensen answered, shrugging and sighing. “I don’t know what rules apply here, man.” There was silence for a moment, shadows lengthening around them. “Is it getting dark?”

“Yeah,” Jared said, well aware of the desperation in Jensen’s tone. “It’s getting cold, too.” Jared kicked himself for pointing that out almost as soon as he’d said it, Jensen looking even more dejected. Danneel was out there somewhere, probably in the dark and cold, and it didn’t feel as though they were any closer to finding her. “Hey, come on.” Jared wrapped an arm around Jensen’s shoulders and nodded to the tree. He’d decided that maybe a break was in their best interests. “Why don’t we stop over there for the night? We’ll pick up again first thing.”

Jensen didn’t protest, but his silence told Jared just how much he liked the idea of stopping. But Jensen gave in, his shoulders sagging beneath Jared’s weight. “I don’t think I can sleep.”

Me neither, Jared thought, but he kept it to himself. “You should try. We’ll need our strength if we’re gonna keep at this.”

“Okay,” Jensen said, nodding. “You’re right. We’ll use the whole day tomorrow.”

They nearly collapsed when they got to the tree, and Jared briefly wondered if they should climb it, not knowing what sort of creatures prowled Wonderland at night. But Jensen was already slumping over and curling up. Jared worriedly glanced around them. He hadn’t been this afraid of closing his eyes to go to sleep since he’d been a child frightened by his nightmares. He stayed close to Jensen in an attempt to keep them both warm, the chill in the air cooling his skin. He wondered how they were going to do this. He’d dropped his bottle of water when they’d gone running after the man who Jared assumed now was the Mad Hatter. He didn’t know where they’d find water here, or food, for that matter, and he could feel his mouth go dry and his stomach rumble with that thought. His iPod sat on his hip, ear buds shoved in one pocket of his pants, keys and wallet in the other. It took a long time, but he eventually couldn’t keep his eyes from closing, slowly drifting off into sleep.

Part 2